Peanut Butter experiences the world through her tongue. My medium-large gray poodle mix has never encountered something she didn't want to taste. Furniture legs, my shoes, the remote control – all have received her thorough tongue inspection. I've come to believe she has more taste buds than the average dog, collecting information about her surroundings one lick at a time.
https://youtu.be/YqYjekdysgQ?si=tcFmFobu-Mia9KaT
Last night, I was in the kitchen perfecting my famous tacos (the ones with the secret ingredient that makes everyone ask for seconds). I had lined up the soft shells, filled them generously, and left them on the counter while I went to grab my phone to take a picture – because if you don't photograph your cooking achievements, did they even happen?
https://youtube.com/shorts/oYe5wO6C_nk?si=KJnFq_ZsbFUtaYs8
It took exactly eighteen seconds. That's all the time Peanut Butter needed to execute her sneak attack.
When I returned, there she was, front paws on the kitchen counter (a strictly forbidden zone), methodically licking each and every one of my carefully crafted tacos. Not eating them, mind you – just giving them the official Peanut Butter seal of approval with her tongue.
"Peanut Butter!" I gasped. "Those were for my boyfriend!"
She looked at me with those innocent eyes that somehow manage to communicate both absolute guilt and complete lack of remorse simultaneously. Then she gave the last taco one final, deliberate lick before dropping back to all fours and trotting away, her quality control inspection complete.
My boyfriend was arriving any minute. I considered my options: start over from scratch or confess the truth.
When he arrived, I decided honesty was the best policy.
"So... Peanut Butter licked all the tacos."
My boyfriend, who generally maintains a strict no-pets policy in his life (making an exception only for Peanut Butter because, well, he loves me), surprised me with his response.
He laughed. Not just a polite chuckle, but a full, genuine laugh. Then he picked up a pre-licked taco and took a big bite.
"Extra flavor," he declared with a wink.
This from the man who normally wipes down restaurant tables with sanitizer before eating.
Sometimes love means accepting a dog's saliva on your dinner. And sometimes the people who claim to hate pets are the ones who end up making the biggest exceptions.
As for Peanut Butter, she sat beside us through dinner, watching with satisfaction as we enjoyed her taste-tested tacos. I could have sworn I saw a hint of pride in her expression – another successful quality control operation completed.
Next time, though, I'm keeping those tacos well out of tongue's reach.
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